Hey up, this is just a journal where I dump fanfic, you can browse the tags to find what you like. Thing is, this is my *secondary* journal in case Livejournal suddenly realises I put tonnes of porn up on there, so this is the best way to navigate the bedlam I have unleashed:

Most of my fic can be navigated through my (big old list of fic) on Livejournal, *particularly* the older fic which really hasn't been migrated over here in any sensible fashion. By fandom, you can find:

(Glee), Kurt/Blaine

(Musketeers (2014)) multishipped but often Aramis/Athos/Porthos

(Good Omens (TV)) Crowley/Aziraphale you might want to navigate by the tags rather than memories because Livejournal has changed its memories function and I can't technology so I'm just very confused by it now? Help.

Anyway, you're very welcome here and thank you for taking the time to read anything =) I have a strict no wank policy because I am just so very tired, so please contemplate the necessity of what you've typed if you want to start anything with me or any other commenter on here. If you want to bring anything up with me in private because you'd rather it wasn't public that's absolutely cool, I write about some pretty heavy stuff sometimes, I know not everyone wants to talk about that publicly.

On anonymous commenters: If there's a very obvious reason you're writing anonymously - one of those heavy subjects I mentioned - that's cool and fine and I respect absolutely why you maybe don't want your name attached to that. Otherwise, I don't respond to anonymous comments, I don't like the weird power imbalance online anonymity creates. If you don't have a Dreamwidth account just leave a name or initial on your comment so I know I'm talking to a particular person and I'll respond, but if you leave no name I won't reply, sorry, I've just had too many people use anonymity to be a dick over the years so now I have a 'no name no response' policy, I hope you understand <3

Before Eden part II of III, a Good Omens fic, sequel to But Thou Readst Black Where I Read White.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, nor, mercifully, the unholy mess of S2.

Rating: R but for violence and its aftermath, go careful.

Warnings and spoilers: Again, violence. I'm sorry.

Summary: Mostly. Mostly, they’ve survived.

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Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3

Ignore this post! It exists only to post a spoiler for a fic to come. This is not a post, please manage your metaphysical discomfort with this fact.

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Four Good Omens Drabbles, written for fadagaski, get well soon honey <3

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but in times like these it's important that we share? <3

Rating: I managed a G \o/

Warnings and spoilers: None. Life sucks, let's have something safe.

Summary: Literally just four drabbles, haven't written those in *years*. Saccharine to the marrow. Here is a safe space from grief, for 400 words <3

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This is just a very quick note to say that I am still alive, despite disappearing for *checks* over three months good going me! Sorry. Got ill again and term started and it was just very hard to recover. I know I owe comments, I'll try to get back to you <3 Even writing a little, a sentence at a time on three very long fics I decided to write all at the same time excellent going me again.

And if you wonder why I can never find a cosy home in fandom: I just vanished for more than three months because everything hurt and the only thing I was doing was sleeping and obeying my supervisor because apparently work matters too, who knew. But I hope you've all been keeping well! And if I'm too swamped to say anything over the holiday - have a very happy Christmas and the most fabulous of New Years, have a whisky and think of me, I'll keep you all in my thoughts <3 Hopefully back soon!

Been thinking. Dangerous times.

One of the things I missed most about fandom was interacting with people - getting to virtually hug people and sob about how amazing these characters are is like, the best bit of fandom. But around me right now I've got crickets. And I really really really love these characters and want to do the happy-sobbing in company. And I'm considering my options a bit, though I feel a bit anxious in them.

I suspect that Livejournal and Dreamwidth are a bit dead, and I don't know if that's true or if just no-one likes my writing and thus doesn't come by here so I *think* it's dead (legit; no-one's obliged to come by here or like anything I post, and it won't stop me writing, I've had no more than half a dozen readers in years, it's a mutual no foul). I've been away for so long I genuinely don't know where you go on these sites to find other people anymore, oops. But maybe there are communities on here? I don't know. I have pretty epic anxiety about going out into fandom spaces, as people who've known me for a while probably already know. The kind of anxiety that makes me physically ill. Which brings me onto the second option apart from just finding some damn people where I already am:

Tumblr! I don't think it's for me. For one thing I would have to have a fandom blog as a *secondary* tumblr (I do have one, for - well, art and craft objects, which is my day job; it's only for personal reference and I don't interact with anyone), which is pretty awkward for a fanfic blog. Also I sometimes post porn, which is a problem on tumblr. Also I really, really, really don't like fandom tumblr, I don't like tumblr culture in general, I'm sure it's fun if you don't have crippling anxiety but the way some people talk and treat each other on there - nope. Big massive nope. Anxiety goes straight to my stomach and I puke for a week without sleeping, I don't think it's for me. Third option:

Ao3 is so big it also raises the anxiety to pretty awful levels, as though it would give me access to a lot of people, it's too many people ^^; Also I'm aware that if I ever posted anything on there I'd likely get a deluge of anonymi asking me to put all my old stuff up on there and lol I have ME I'm in pain typing this I'm in pain every fucking moment of the day and I sleep like Crowley, I can barely manage what I'm doing here and now, do not ask me to do what is to me ancient admin; that fic is where it is and staying where it is. Ao3 is just too big, it's too intimidating a space. So my option four is:

Guys, where else is there? What are the medium level fanspaces nowadays? Where can you hang out and it's chill and you get to purr over how much you love the characters you love with people but *everyone in the universe* isn't already there?

I'm an old lady and ill and very, very tired, and the internet is just baffling to me nowadays. I miss fandom but I don't know if I'm cut out for it anymore when I see some of the ways it shapes itself now. I feel old. And tired. I feel like all the angels and demons are excited for the apocalypse starting and I just want the world to carry on as it is so I can go to bed with my book at the end of the day. Not entirely helpful metaphor. But if anyone can answer any of the vague questions above, do let me know? The best part of fandom is its people, when they're being their best, and I do appreciate every person who *has* commented on my fic, it's always lovely for makers to know that the thing they made has made someone else happy. Thank you, for the quietly angelic act of reaching out, which is always, always appreciated <3

Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please, a Good Omens fic, Crowley/Aziraphale bless them <3

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters for which we should all be pleased because I never could be trusted with them, look how horrible I am to them =/

Rating: I'd say R just for some serious nastiness around the concept of consent.

Warnings and spoilers: Set post-series (apart from a jaunt to sixteenth-century England), watch that first. This fic contains some pretty gross shitfuckery around the notion of consent due to a fucking incubus. I ship those two asexual, which particularly in the smut-heavy medium of fanfic is a sometimes painful place to work from, given the expectations and judgements of the world we live in. Basically: If you want to have sex, great, lovely, more power to you, be kind and be safe and have fun. If you don't want to have sex, great, lovely, more power to you, be kind and be safe and have fun. Just never try to make someone else do the one you don't want to (that very much goes for emotional manipulation as well as physical force) and don't judge them for their choices because it is not okay or cool.

Summary: In which an incubus has an eye on promotion, Crowley does not know how to say no to a certain angel's lip-wobble, and Aziraphale doesn't know how to say no to a certain demon at all.

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But Thou Readst Black Where I Read White part II of III, a Good Omens fic, Crowley/Aziraphale <3

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and to be honest in terms of sheer rabid love for them I think they're Michael Sheen's now o_0

Rating: NC-17 for a bit of smut and much more importantly a significant amount of violence.

Warnings and spoilers: Set post-series, watch that first. Strong bloody violence, a little here and significantly more in the last part.

Summary: Read part I here. In which there are consequences to the accidental formation of a rebel army.

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Auguries of Innocence, a Good Omens short, Crowley/Aziraphale bless them. Working on a long fic I don't want to be working on, little snippet in the meantime -_-

Disclaimer: Consider it very disclaimed, I don't own them.

Rating: Pff PG-13

Warnings and spoilers: Set post-series, light on the warnings.

Summary: We are led to Believe a Lie/When we see not Thro the Eye (Rainjoy stop it with the Blake)

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